Rewild & Slow
Day 12: Nicola Baldwin
“Rewilding" - My Journey Back to Nature
As you might expect from a garden designer, my job involves being outdoors and working with Nature. However, as a designer it's surprisingly easy to hide away indoors pouring over a drawing board or computer, obsessing about the minutiae of build specifications and plans.
Last year I realised this had happened to me. I was so caught up in the technicalities and commerce of designing gardens and running a business, that I'd become disconnected from my own garden and from the outside. I was creating beautiful outdoor spaces for my clients, at the cost of enjoying my own, and gardening just became another chore to add to the long to-do list. Always planning a few seasons ahead and trying the control the weather (futile!) I even became frustrated when the living flora I worked with wouldn’t conform to a neat timetable - I was simply too busy for the bloody plants not to do what they were supposed to, when they were supposed to!
My poor brain was buzzing and confused - too caught up in the doing, always on and unable to take a step back to review and reflect. I thought I wanted to continue with the job I'd previously been so enamoured with ….. but did I?
''It would be a shame" my logical brain said, “for all that knowledge and experience to go to waste."
But had I lost the love for designing gardens
…. for gardening
…. for Nature?
Clearly something had to change, so last summer I took some time to stop, review and to consider my way forward.
And exhale……
"Look deep in Nature and then you will understand everything better."
- Albert Einstein
This sentiment really struck a chord with me. Albert clearly knew what he was talking about! So began my journey to connect back into Nature. To discover and re-establish links to the wild that I'd lost in the hustle and bustle of modern daily life.
As a child I spent a lot of time outside. Exploring, running, making mess, learning and growing. As adults we often lose that connection to the outside. The necessity of earning a living, the convention of working inside, the ever-increasing move towards technology, the time pressed days and inclement weather etc - all move to disconnect us from Nature. I wanted to reconnect with the outside world, work with the seasons, collect the wisdom of the centuries and apply it to my own 21st century life so that I could (and can) tread more lightly on the land and enjoy the journey more fully.
So, I've been taking extended walks out in Nature - the dogs are delighted! Walking outside in big spaces helps me get perspective on things. I wonder if it’s something to do with scale – physically having room around you to move and think and problems seeming smaller under a big sky. Certainly, I do some of my best thinking outside. On these nature walks I take note of what's growing in the hedgerows and the woods, collecting berries and flowers to actually make something with (elderberry cordial and rosehip syrup were this winters' revelations) and taking lots of photos. LOTS of photographs! I've been curating these photos and posting them on social media to chronicle the changing seasons. Noticing the small changing details helps me connect with the current season rather than always looking ahead to the next.
I've also started to explore new places to walk. Rather than the same boring and usually rushed dog walks, now we mix it up, driving to new woods or fields - sometimes getting a bit lost, often losing track of time, even getting stuck in the mud and falling over (!) but always seeing something interesting. Somehow this small act has triggered my sense of adventure and I love discovering these new places. Once again, the dogs are delighted!
Often I walk and listen, taking in the sounds of Nature, particularly now when the birds are singing. Other times I listen to podcasts. These are another new discovery for me and I've found some wonderfully compelling nature interviews and talks online. So often we watch rather than listen and although the radio is usually on at home, it's background music that's playing and I'm only half listening! It's enthralling to really listen to fascinating people, their stories, wisdom and experiences. Fresh air and learning - win win!
My social media posting has given me licence to research the natural world too. I've been compiling a fantastic, ever-growing library of Nature books and have found a new love for trawling the shelves in charity shops for old tomes. I've discovered a wealth of information on the internet and some wonderful, talented and like-minded people to learn from.
This re-engagement with Nature has led me to start writing more fully and I have a blog teetering on the brink of life (now I've said it I'll have to do it!) and plans for some nature inspired events. Best of all, I've been working on new ideas for my own garden - garden designers are notoriously bad for not practising what they preach in their own gardens and often just do, rather than taking time to plan. My own rather wonderful and messy space is trying to fit the needs of many - kids who desire to play ballgames, teenagers wanting to spread out and relax, sociable adults gathering around the pizza oven for conversation and food, dogs who are the nemesis of a tidy garden, contemplative hammock-dwellers and a plantaholic trialling yet more plants whilst encouraging wildlife into the garden. If that was a client's brief we'd be seriously reviewing!
Despite its confused identity, I’ve fallen back in love with my garden. It’s not a chore – it’s a pleasure. I can have a positive impact on this part of the outdoors and bring Nature so much closer. As for garden design, Nature has poured balm on my frazzled, cluttered mind and I find myself re-energised to work on designs for my clients' gardens. Their remits are as wide and varied as the natural spaces they inhabit. I'm excited to help them engage with their slice of the outdoors.
This rewilding is a continuing journey, one that is being assisted enormously by Folk + Field. It takes time and is sometimes exhausting but it works for me and I’m really enjoying the ride. Once again, I can now be found in my own back garden wildness, hands in the mud, connecting with the seasons, engaging in the space and exploring my own wild heart of Hampshire. Now I've just got to work what do with all these photos!